I wonder… how do I grab my thoughts? If only I could trap them in a net. Would I catch them all as they pass by or would some pass swiftly through? Too small and delicate to linger there, so tiny but so true. If I caught them, I would offer them to the one who knows my heart. The lovely ones, the beautiful dreams, the hopes that flutter by. Could I offer you also the ugly, dark and dirty ones? The angry, prideful too? Could I give you my thoughts to look upon? Your love to transform. Would your compassion pour down to cleanse them, to wash the hurt away? Would you take them, rearrange them; all in a lovely row? To tell the story of your name, this Jesus I dearly know.
~ Deon LaFond
“The Kingdom of God is advancing in you.” I was told by a precious friend. What I can’t quite see for myself, she has believed and called out in me. As she spoke her words, it was as if a light turned on and I could see my life and struggles from a new perspective.
It hasn’t been easy lately. The steady encroachment of age. Problems with my physical and emotional health. Discouragements come and feel like pronouncements over my life as mediocrity nips at my heels. My past sins and wounds promising to be my unruly companions for life.
Sometimes, one needs to look more closely at what they are allowing to hold them back. What held me in the past is toxic for my present and deadly for my future. I’ve realized that the time is long overdue to send these parasites for a long walk off a very short pier.
I have felt stuck in the mud for as long as I can remember, but perhaps that has all been smoke and mirrors.
The Kingdom of God advancing in me… The thought beckons me to stop a minute and rest on it. It invites me to join Him for what I know will be the greatest adventure I’ve ever known. Leaving the gloomy forest and the damp caves of sorrow for light and life and the grand quest for His Kingdom. How I long to walk with Him along the paths of His glory.
I’ve been there with Him before in my minds eye. I’ve watched the trail choked with weeds and thorns transformed into rich hues of beauty as the weeds withered down and the delicate blossoms of the kingdom bloomed with exultation as He passed by. He was delighted to hold my hand there as we walked happily along. Talking of Kingdom mysteries and all His promises for you and me. He talks fondly of His children, both those who know Him and those who don’t yet know His love. How he longs for us all to see Him through the lens of His truth.
I’ve heard it said that Christians live for future promises and the avoidance of punishment. My heart hurts as I think about all the ways we can be misled into false perceptions of the gospel. What bounty for a searching heart to come to understand Jesus is our treasure now. Every moment of every day. I fear no condemnation because He bore it for me on the cross the day Love’s promise came to pass. If only we would have hearts open to know Him.
How I hope for everyone so dear to me to know His love for them is real. To come alive by the depth and the richness of His glory and grace. It’s hard for me to understand the concept of a far off, distant or non-existent God when I know Him intimately. I have walked with Him. Have held His hand and hugged Him tight and knelt with Him as we have dug in the rocky soil of my heart together. We have battled my demons, I have hidden under the shelter of His wings as my fears pounded at the door, and more nights than I can count I have wrestled long with Him. I have fought Him, ignored Him, thought little of Him and kept Him at arm’s length.
Yet He has never left. His love has never wavered or fallen away as I have stumbled along my path. He does not look at me with narrowed eyes of reproach and disappointment or terrify me with His wrath when I wander off onto dark paths. Instead, He is my cornerstone. My anchor. My true and great reward. The light lit warmly on the porch. Always welcoming me back to the peace and comfort of home.
His love continues to flow through my life and my soul as the living water of His spirit gently carries away the lies hidden so deeply within. The ones that try to live in my thoughts, threatening to hold captive and destroy all the promises My Lord has for me. Yet His promises remain. Nothing can shake the bedrock of His love.
Sometimes as I think a word or phrase plays over and over in my head. Words I want to grab hold of. They’re still coming together, but I think they are trying to go something like this:
Would you cross the sea for me? Would you travel oceans wide?
Would you descend to valleys low with me, into the sorrow of my heart?
Would you reach into the pit for me? Would you cross the great divide?
Would you fight the battle for me? Would you conquer my demons with your sword?
O child, I will leave heaven for you, to take on the body of a man.
I will leave glory for you, my body to be brutally marred.
I will take your rejection, the betrayal and mocking too.
I will climb the hill for you, bleeding and alone. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do.
I will carry my cross for you to the top of that lonely height.
I will look on you with love as the nails hold me there.
I will forgive you child, as you scoff at me, your every sin to bear.
I will die for you, forever conquering sin and death.
I will rise again for you, my victory now complete.
I will close the chasm wide, our hearts now to finally meet.
I will set you free as the Redeemer of your heart.
I welcome you to my Kingdom, we shall never have to part.
Thank you for joining me today as I tried my best to put my thoughts to words. I pray that you know how deeply God loves you. Even if you are at the place of questioning His existence or rejecting Him fully; He sees you, He knows you, He is gently and always calling your name.
Be blessed ~
To my God alone be the glory.