“Jesus is Victor”
The words come to me at unexpected times. Sometimes, like truth flashing into my darkness and at other times when I have grown weary of my own way and reach desperately for Him. Ever in need of His promises to wash over me and renew me once again.
Time and healing have moved slowly as I have begun to emerge from beneath the burden of relentless pain. What once seemed like it would never end has begun to release its grip and I am learning to live again. My chiropractor said something to me this week and I believe what he meant physically I can also apply spiritually. He said, “You have some range of motion back but you have no idea how to use it.” My shoulder does not move normally. In fact it doesn’t move like a shoulder at all. As a result, I often hinder my own progress and even cause my self further suffering.
Isn’t that the way of my heart lately?
Pain and new losses have left me feeling weary and with a dull vision of my Lord’s promises. Consequently, having more range of emotions but forgetting how to use them. Losing sight of the fact that emotion not firmly set on the foundation of God is a precarious place to stand.
“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord’, and do not do what I say? As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”
As a result, I found myself trying to set up camp in the dark places of my heart. It’s amazing how something that should cause me to shudder can disguise itself as comfort and familiarity. Led astray by my own willfullness, I looked around and thought that maybe a life of compromise wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe, I should set my tent here. Maybe, I should start laying my foundation. The lie that I wasn’t fit for the life of a follower of God crossed my mind and I began to resign myself to the destiny of the generations before me.
When one who has looked upon the glory of God and worshipped beneath the shadow of His wings this is quite a miserable place to find yourself. Thankfully, my tent pegs couldn’t find their grip in the shifting sand and His light began to shine once again into my darkness .
Shame beckoned me to stay.
Grace called me to find my way home.
Jesus is Victor
Jesus reminded me of a promise He gave me some years ago. He showed me the foundations of my life being rebuilt. Literally taken down to the dust. There He began to rebuild. In the corner I saw a stone. Alive with color and light.
A sure foundation on which to build my life. The soil would need to be prepared and I feared I would not have the tools to prepare it. I asked for the softening of rain to plow the earth. He showed me that in many places the soil of my heart was hard and large boulders would block my progress. When I despaired that I could never complete this work; He showed me Himself beside me. Moving the stones for me, working the ground with me. Encouraging and helping me all the way. King of Kings and Lord of Lords on His knees beside me in the dirt of my heart.
“So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricken with panic. I will make justice the measuring line and righteousness the plumb line; hail will sweep away your refuge, the lie, and water will overflow your hiding place.” Isaiah 28:16-17
When I find myself wandering from the path of His love the God of endurance and encouragement (Romans 15:5) doesn’t punish me. Doesn’t turn His back. Doesn’t leave. The one who has my heart leads me back by way of His perfect and unconditional love. Once again, His kindness leads His often wandering child to repentance.
Once again His love leads me home.